Fiblet

It is ok to tell a white lie.

Ocassionally as a caregiver you may be faced with the uncomfortbale task of telling a "fiblet" to a loved one.  A fiblet, also known as a tiny white lie, is often neccesary in working with someone who has memory loss when we know that using logic or explananing things won't help.  For example, if your loved one gets up in the morning and tells you that they need to go to work but you know they haven't worked for a decade or two, you may be faced with a dilemma.  

Disorientation to time and place is common with memory loss: if a person believes that they need to work, disputing this will only lead to agitation and possibly aggression.  It might even evoke other anxious concerns such as, "how will we pay the bills?" Rather than explain the circumstance, it is best to distract and divert with the use of a fiblet.  "Your boss called, they said that the office is closed today and that you do not need to come in."

The primary function of a fiblet is to calm the person through comfort and distraction.  It validates their worry and gives them a workable resolution.  Remember, it is important to join "their reality" because trying to convince them otherwise may only create negative feelings and resistance.