At the start of each day
I know what to say,
The right words to use
If I don’t want to lose
My cool —

I forget he can’t remember
If its April or November,
I forget to not explain
When it seems so very plain

And though it may seem strange
I forget he can’t change!!
I forget he can't reason,
Doesn’t matter the season,
And that it doesn’t pay to try to argue it away

Oh yes, it's clear to me,
It's just the disease,

So distract, divert, and then agree,
We’ll both feel better — you and me.

If it's lost, we'll try to find it,
If it's broken, never mind it,
If we're bored, we'll take a walk,
Or call a friend, it's good to talk.
These words of wisdom rescue me:
Distract, divert, and then agree!

There are some guidelines to obey
For getting through each lengthy day.
To know what's right and what's not right to say
“Why do I so often stray?”

And if you're sad, I’ll try to cheer you,
Make you laugh, I'll sit right near you,
If your questions never stop,
I'll change the subject, let it drop.

So if you're feeling upset,
Here's something not to forget:

Distract, divert, and then agree
We’ll both feel better — you and me

If it's lost, we'll try to find it,
If it's broken, never mind it,
If we're bored, we'll take a walk,
Or call a friend, it's good to talk.
These words of wisdom rescue me:
Distract, divert, and then agree!

I know correcting doesn’t help,
And saying NO evokes a yelp,
So when my patience starts to fray,
I’ll say “time out” and walk away.
And sing this song inside my head,
Recite it nightly in my bed,
Because tomorrow is not far away.

Distract, divert, and then agree,
We’ll both feel better — you and me.

If it's lost, we'll try to find it,
If it's broken, never mind it,
If we're bored, we'll take a walk,
Or call a friend, it's good to talk.
These words of wisdom rescue me:
Distract, divert, and then agree!
Distract, divert, and then agree!

Caring for a loved one who is living with dementia or Alzheimer's comes with having to relearn how to interact with them so that you can both get along. Often, this way of thinking is counterintuitive to our natures, and we have to teach ourselves some new ways of approaching problems. It's been proven that people of all ages learn best when provided a mnemonic to help them learn a new task or ingest new information, and one of the best techniques to do this is through repetition and song.

Why the lyrics are so important.

In times of stress, having the lyrics of "distract, divert, and then agree" can be a lifeline if they are internalized by repetition. Once the song becomes a habit, the words can help you to become a more effective caregiver as you remember the best way to approach your daily goals.

Songwriters of the Caregiver Ballad

Words by Debby Segil; Music and Recording by Rick Goldin.

Debby Segil, LICSWLyricist

Rick GoldinProfessional Musician